As Executives, Are We Really Listening?

 

As executives, it’s no secret that we’re all busy. I’ve often heard this used as an excuse when a colleague checks out of a conversation, interview, or meeting. While there’s no denying that our schedules are demanding, we also have a responsibility to remain engaged, especially when ideas are being shared that could benefit our organizations.

Let me pose a rhetorical question: If you’re in a meeting and someone is explaining an idea but isn’t being particularly concise, do you stop them to offer feedback, or do you simply disengage and tune them out? If the answer is the latter, I’d argue that you’re not fulfilling your role as an executive. That meeting was scheduled because someone believed the discussion was valuable (this is especially true for interviews, internal or non-sales meetings). By checking out, how can you be sure that you aren’t missing something crucial—an insight that could drive significant change or benefit your organization?

The Missed Opportunities

When we fail to provide feedback or simply "check out" of discussions, we miss valuable opportunities. Not only might we be missing key insights, but we also rob the speaker of a chance to improve. By offering constructive feedback, we help others communicate more effectively, which ultimately benefits the entire organization.

Too often, we allow our own preferences to dictate our engagement. If a presentation doesn’t align with our interests or feels overly detailed, we feel justified in mentally stepping away. But as executives, our role is to serve the needs of our organizations and our customers, not to cater to our personal preferences. I would also argue that our role is to help others in our organization or that we do business with, develop in their roles. This not only helps our organizations in the end but is also the right thing to do as experienced professionals and executives.

I recently witnessed this behavior in another organization. After a meeting, I heard participants express relief that the speaker had finished, citing a lack of conciseness. What struck me was that this wasn’t a large group setting where feedback might feel impersonal—it was a small meeting where immediate feedback could have been offered. I personally found the speaker’s insights valuable, and while they could have been more concise, I focused on the content rather than the delivery.

For me, this was a missed opportunity. Others in the room could have given feedback to help the speaker improve their communication, benefiting both the individual and the organization. By choosing to disengage, they missed out on a chance to help someone grow, which is a core part of leadership.

The Importance of Feedback

We often forget that those presenting to us or interviewing with us are likely nervous or not accustomed to presenting ideas to a group or may not have interviewed for a while. Instead of tuning out and discussing their performance behind their back, wouldn’t it set a better example to offer constructive feedback? Many of us can think back to a time when someone gave us helpful advice in our careers—shouldn’t we strive to be that person for others? There have been a number of times when I have stopped an interview because the candidate was giving longwinded answers and some of my fellow interviewers were beginning to lose interest. When I do this, I typically look at the candidate and let them know that the interview is on a schedule and what I would like them to do is take a moment and think of a way to summarize what they are about to say just like they would if they were going to put it on a PowerPoint slide that had to be seen in the back of a large room. Keep the points to the most important highlights that we need to know to get to know you and make a decision. These interviews almost always end well and more often than not, I have hired this person, and they turned out to be a great hire!

Feedback, when given respectfully and professionally, can transform both the speaker and the organization. I’ve found that when I offer feedback, whether in a meeting, interview, or informal discussion, the person receiving it is almost always grateful. Their goal is to communicate effectively, not to impress us with perfect delivery. The key is to offer feedback in a way that helps, rather than embarrasses.

Actionable Tips for Offering Feedback

Providing feedback isn’t just about pointing out flaws—it’s about guiding someone toward improvement. Here are a few strategies that can help:

• Be specific and timely: If someone is providing too much detail or going off-topic, politely stop them and ask if they can summarize their main points. Doing this during the conversation allows for immediate improvement and helps keep everyone engaged.
• Encourage clarity: Offer suggestions on how the speaker can simplify their message. For example, you might say, "I think this is a great point, but could you clarify it in a few sentences, so everyone stays on track?"
• Frame it constructively: When offering feedback, frame it as an opportunity for growth. For instance, "You have a lot of valuable information here, and I think it would be even more impactful if you focused on these key areas."

By doing this, you not only help the speaker improve but also ensure the entire group remains engaged and benefits from the discussion.

Conclusion

As executives, our job isn’t just to attend meetings or sit through presentations—it’s to actively engage in the discussions around us. When we check out without providing feedback, we miss opportunities to unlock valuable insights and help others improve their communication. By offering thoughtful, constructive input, we foster a culture of learning and improvement, which ultimately benefits both individuals and the organization.

Let’s strive to be leaders who listen actively, provide feedback respectfully, and seize every opportunity to drive progress. By doing so, we not only help others grow but also ensure that our organizations continue to thrive.